


It‘s Not Your Time To Die Yet, Tommy.

by vol_que



Category: DreamSMP, mcyt
Genre: Angst, Got inspired after watching a clip, Heavy Angst, It‘s the nether scene, Post exile Tommy, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, The rping is god tier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:02:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27945725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vol_que/pseuds/vol_que
Summary: Basically Tommy‘s internal thoughts as he was standing at the edge looking down at the lava lake; contemplating to jump.I will link the clip that inspired me in the end notes.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 93





	It‘s Not Your Time To Die Yet, Tommy.

Tommy by now has fully realised his exile.

The people he cared about, that he thought had cared about him, permanently banished him from the very place he swore to protect with all his might. L‘manberg, that place HE helped to build up that HE treasured with all of his power. The place he called home, fueling his very existence, doesn‘t need him anymore. It was made very clear by Tommy‘s best friend himself; Tubbo, or so he considered was his best friend. The boy he had his highest respect for, the „brother“ he went through hell and war with, the last person he truely trusted; his anchor. Yeah, this friend sent him away to ultimately fend for himself.

* * *

Dream and Sapnap hopped into the portal next to him.

Tommy watched them vanish with a taunting „Be right back“ while eyeing him mockingly, as to send a threatening message of „You won’t go anywhere.“ Not like Tommy really saw a point in fighting back. Two men in full netherite armor versus a boy that has nothing. Bringing up the energy to resist at all when he already felt so tired and drained from this whole situation was pretty much pointless. Tommy sarcastically watched the portal with a half-hearted smile and a tired stare.

He turned his back to look over the blackstone bridge stretching throughout the space of this vast and hellish nether world. The warm reddish glow of thick lava simmered below and illuminated the dark material. Tommy stepped towards the edge to gaze at the only source of light this place had to offer.

He stopped to look down. The warm glow of hot lava met his face. The gentle flow and low sound of molten material seemed actually rather... mesmerising, almost comforting to the blonde boy. He stared at it, not even blinking. His facial expressions completely drifted away, from the bitter smirk he carried earlier to almost no mimic at all.

The exile. A crushing loneliness. Not having hope left whatsoever. Total defeat. It all weighed down so ruthlessly on his heart, right then and there. His body felt like it gained a million tons of weight. And Tommy was so tired.

Despite already being awfully close to the edge of the unsecured bridge, the boy took another wavering step forward, the sizzling lava lake now almost in full view. The skin on his face reflected the bright colours of the hot substance; void and exhausted eyes were filled with a bright furious light, a contrast to his emotionless features. This fire seemed to burn into his mind, like dancing flames right outside a window.

In amidst of the darkness, a violent spark lights up in his blank mind. A deeply terrifying thought had come to life ..... and it started to consume him, the emptiness in his head had no resistance to stop this blazing fire. He wanted to let it take over, let the hungry flames devour his cold existence. To burn up and melt him away completely, along with his past and present, his very whole being.

All it‘d take was one step forward.

It’s not like Tommy wasn‘t aware of his destructive thoughts. His brows furrowed together. It was all too real in this moment. He was facing his cruel reality in the burning heat, pulling him down stronger by the second. Yet something in him still resisted. The very last part of Tommy‘s hope and aspirations, his strong will to fight he always had, the very core of his heart made him hesitate one last time. Is this really it? He thought to himself. Is that really... the way... it’s ultimately meant to end?

But Tommy had already been confronted with the thought before. A voice in his mind constantly asking as to why he should still get up every day, knowing he won‘t achieve what he’s always truely wanted anymore, ever. While having no one to protect or to look after. Being by himself with no one and nothing to give him comfort or happiness. He‘d always pushed that malicious voice into the back of his mind to go about his day and keep going.

In this very moment Tommy would make up his mind. Now he had nowhere to run from the raging inferno. The flames already started to hiss at the very last bit of hope in his heart. His stubbornness and fighting spirit wouldn‘t help him now. The loud rustling of the all-consuming fire filled his ears, growing louder and drowning out the rest of the world. The smoking fumes from inside of him took control over his limbs. Never has Tommy felt this numb before ever in his life. It would at least make the very next step easier...

Tommy‘s toes barely tipped the edge as he was violently yanked back. He hadn‘t even realised Dream returning from the overworld. Two foggy eyes stared at the armored man.

„It‘s not your time to die yet, Tommy.“

Was all he had to say.

The very last independent decision he‘d ever make; the greatest of them all, wether to live or to die. The choice to rip away all that his physical body truely possessed; his very soul. And it was forcefully taken from him.  
Tommy indeed had nothing left at all.

A numb shell of a boy started walking along the bridge, no particular direction in mind. The true Tommy had just burned to ashes completely. He opened his mouth, the last black fumes escaping in a low tone:

„It‘s never my time to die.“

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading this. It‘s my first ever fic! Comments and criticism is much appreciated. :)
> 
> Here‘s the clip that inspired me to write this. Tommy‘s subtle facial expressions in this amaze me every time:
> 
> https://youtu.be/YAjiAO4Ll5k
> 
> There are also a lot of insane animations about this scene I‘d recommend checking out.


End file.
